Today begins a new thing for me. I just finished my first 2 weeks at a new job, I'm facing the reality of moving to a new country in a little more then a year's time, and my little sister had a health scare recently that has impacted my entire family.
Something you need to know about my family; we are are BIG people. Like the lightest one of us might be 250 pounds BIG. With this last health concern for my 24 year old sister we have realized that we need to make some changes. We have set up "The Biggest Loser - Family style". We all pitching $10 in every month. The person that loses the highest percent of body weight at the end of the month gets the pot.
The draw of me gaining $30 and the fact that I am at my heaviest right now has convinced me to make some changes. I have done something like this before. I did really great with it, and then went through some major shifts in life (moved to a new city, got a new job, etc) and relapsed back into the world of fast food and potato chips. I call it a relapse because that is exactly what it was.
I think we don't realize that most of us have an addiction of some kind in our lives. Some of them are obviously horrible for us and those we love, others seem to be a little less harmless. Mine happens to be eating. I love food. I enjoy eating and cooking with and for others.
There is nothing wrong with that except that I have lost myself to food and the reality of food on the whole. I have gained 40 pounds since August. I'm pretty sure that none of my clothes truly fit, and I've been avoiding the nagging of the Holy Spirit that keeps telling me that I'm a glutton and that what I'm doing to myself is sin.
Some people probably think I just went over board, but in my case my over eating is a sin. I have stopped turning to God and started turning to food. I have stopped praying and started eating. I have let my body and my health decline to the point of losing my breath when I bring the laundry up from the basement. This is not the woman that I want to be.
As a result I am going to start a 6 week meal plan and work out schedule to get me back on track. The preparation for it starts today. I getting ready to go to the store and pick up the stuff I need. The list is huge this week... there are so many things I need to the recipes, but the reality is I'm excited. I'm nervous about various other things and know that I'm going to have to sort through a lot of emotional things as I do this. It has already started. I have some fears and insecurities about myself when we start to talk about and look at weight and fitness issues. I have decided to start writing this journey because I know it will help me to process it and will point me to a place where I can think things out. It also helps that there are only maybe 2 people out there that know I have a this blog thing going on.
So here are to new days, new beginnings, and new things.